To Speak or Not to Speak

 There is so much going on in our country right now it's hard to narrow anything down or even begin organizing my thoughts.  But, I will try.  The world amplifies the same issues, but I need narrow the reach to what is more applicable to myself and those I love.  I have been restraining myself on social media for a few reasons: I do not wish to offend, I value other's opinions and I want to leave social platforms for keeping in touch - that was my first and sole reason for doing so years ago. I was blessed with several au pairs for my young children and it was a wonderful way to keep in touch quickly and to see pictures, etc.  Wow has it changed! :(

 However, there has a come a moment in my life I cannot hold back and I have realized that I do feel better just writing or at least speaking to a few people close to me about "touchy" subjects. The last few years have wounded our country on so many levels.  I do feel fortunate that at least my children were not in grade school or even secondary school.  We got the last one out just in time, granted they were in college and suffered abrupt on line classes and a plethora of other changes.

What prompted me to even write a blog post was a post from someone else on Facebook about Bud Light and Dylan Mulvaney. I cannot be completely clear on all of the facts, but, from my understanding, Bud Light gave this Tik Tok star, who is transgender, a few cans of beer with their picture on them.  I read that Bud Light commented there were none for actual sale. Aside from that fact, it went viral and a lot of folks rebelled by not buying Bud Light and the company apparently lost a lot of money. The post I saw was showing John Wayne on a different brand beer can claiming he was a real man. That's a whole other discussion, obviously. 

This was my first and only comment on the post:

"I want to comment, but can't. You are damned if you say anything on social media and it is recorded forever. Not sure why a group that is less than 5% of population is getting so much attention. Well, I think I know the answer, but again, can't say it. It is all rooted from one place. I'm sure even my comment will get ripped on. Whatever. I agree with your post and I know where you were going with it. Our country is doomed, to be polite. It's platforms like this, that have a huge role in the demise of our world. Not sure if we can ever come back from it without a complete reboot...."

Someone specifically responded to my comment with: 

"...ask yourself what is the percentage that makes it ok to disrespect someone. We all fall in some percentage of society. Black, white, tall, short, skinny, fat, gay, straight. There is no number that makes it ok."

I wanted to say more, but restrained myself.  This is what I started to write, but didn't post and I have added a lot to it here, where no one can comment and I can just vent: 

You are correct. So why focus on one group? Not sure where you are going with the "disrespect". Are you saying if a group is being disrespected, like all groups and people are at one point or another, they should be put on a can? They should have their own bathroom? They should take precedence over other people and given privilege like in sports (Lia Thomas vs. Riley Gaines) so others who work hard all their lives are knocked down? We are born with one part or another - that gives us two groups, an absolute biological fact. If people want to create a new group for whatever reason, that is their choice and I personally don't care, but it's when companies are trying to make money off of something that is none of their business where I have concern. When companies of any kind are choosing who to support/not support or promote/not promote for financial gain it eliminates equality, fairness and the founding principles that our country was built on.

I have close relatives, friends and acquaintances that fall into one or more of the LGBTQ+ categories and I respect their decisions. I just don't agree with and understand why those that fall into such a small category need special treatment. More importantly, there is a political push for teaching biological NOT NORMAL issues to tender age children in our schools! This crosses the line and I honestly hope anyone who supports it is judged accordingly on judgement day! WHO in their right mind feels a young child should have the choice to choose a sex or identity change and how can anyone seriously feel and think a young child should be learning and reading books on sexuality?!?!?!?!?

The country has gone to hell in a handbasket! We are f*&%ked! Get off the planet, I say. LOL 

I want to elaborate on Dylan Mulvaney.  What he does it dress up like a little girl and act like a little girl when he is a man in his late twenties. THAT is what Bud light is promoting.  It's dangerous to little girls and the lack of parenting that exists in our country today allows for a high exposure to whack jobs like this.  What do Mulvaney's parents have to say about his life choices? Again, it's NOT that he is trans.  It's what he is promoting to achieve fame and fortune....harming young and innocent minds for what? 

Just this week over 100 teens, aka a youth mob, in LA attacked a gas station, stealing and  destroying property. It was one of three such events in the same night. Not a lot of news outlets reported on it because it was in a particular political region where the police are scared to intervene and they let criminals off with little or no penalty. Where and WHO are the parents of these teens??? Do they know what their children are doing??? The demise of America is the demise of family unit.  Granted, there are some cultures that have been broken for a long time and social media has not helped in any positive way.  Even the parents have been encapsulated in the addiction of the WWW. 

I recall when my son was volunteering during his Catholic Confirmation year at a soup kitchen and he came home telling me about the recipients having iPhones and brand new Nike tennis shoes.  What is a young child supposed to think about that? You would think a family would buy food first, not expensive phones and clothing if they were really and truly struggling. Just saying. 

Another example of our country, our youth and their parents is when my ex was incarcerated for a white collar crime and he told me that the other inmates (granted it was a minimum security "camp") were going to go out and do exactly what they did to wind up in that place when they get out. They know no other life and it's normal for them to break the law, repeat it and leave their families behind in the lurch....fatherless. 

I am ready to dive into a political agenda to help save what is left of our country for our children. I have been divided in the past and have just voted as to who I feel the best candidate is, but now there is only one way to vote......

Spread Your Wings and Take Flight, Little Dove

(I found this draft in this blog today....it's from July 2019 - I have added to the end of it today, Oct. 14, 2022)

There comes a day that we say goodbye to our children, but sometimes it comes all too soon.  Some of our beloveds are eager to fly while others take a less aggressive path of self exploration and discovery that lessons the final blow of separation.
My only daughter was second born, but it is my belief, along with her father, that she initially came before her brother.  She was in a hurry then, too, but the stars had not aligned for her then and, although a sorrowful pause, His plan is always predetermined.  So, as miscarriage plagues approximately one third of all known pregnancies, our precious girl finally came on September 20, 2001 - just after 911.  Albeit, she tried to arrive after 20 weeks gestation and then finally burst out 7 weeks early, her two weeks in NICU gave her the rest she needed to enter this world strong, feisty and ready to pave a path that will touch many lives.
An old soul, we were told, and a gentle spirit.  Never following the herd, but cultivating her own garden of beauty and unfolding into an infinite petal lotus.
I'm so proud of her eclectic mix of friends. Each year her comfort level grew and she would reach out in places one would never expect.  For example, in the spring of 2018 she participated in a walk-out at school against gun violence.  This was the exact same day that I was picking up my son from college for spring break and there was a shooting in his dorm, one floor above his, as I was en route.
Gracie's repertoire of interests includes Tae Kwon Do (she achieved her black belt last year), fundraising for cancer research and animal cruelty, she is a bonafide Thespian, and the list goes on...
Tomorrow we head to Indiana as the next day she will register for her first semester at college, out-of-state, at the renowned Purdue University.  To add some sprinkles to our trip, we have an appointment a few hours away the day after her registration at the Indiana Air National Guard.  She has already signed up in Michigan, taken her ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery test) where she rocked it out with a score of 93 out of 99, and taken her medical exam.  
She received a call from the Intelligence Wing in Terra Haute, IN, to discuss job opportunities in cyber security the day she tested.  Her training in the ANG will be several weeks consisting of physical training (8 1/2 weeks) and technical training (an additional 8 weeks, possibly more).  This is all in addition to her collegiate studies.
I feel so blessed that our children have opportunities for education and are all unique.  The world is shrinking and their worlds have been inundated with technology at different levels by each generation.  Technology weaves its tentacles into every single industry and while we still have a planet, it seems like the logical path for many of our youth.  I've learned so much just attending college tours and am confident that her future will be a successful one.  
With the abundance of training and education in addition to her dedication, perseverance, grace and heart, she will no doubt take flight and soar into endless opportunities. 
I pray that one day she will find solace with a partner who supports her every dream, loves her beyond this world and gives her the respect that every individual deserves  no matter their background.  And may her faith always be her guiding light and my prayers follow her wherever she goes.  Let her wings bring her back home often to bring a smile to my face and a comfort to my heart and soul.  For our children are extensions of our souls; they take a piece of us wherever they go and are never forgotten. 

START NEW ENTRY 10/14/22:

Not sure why I never published this. I did not edit any of the above.

So, tomorrow, I leave for Purdue for Family Weekend, with my son. I will see my daughter, hang with her friends, attend the football game and cherish the small time I will have there. She is now half way through her service to our country, is an Ambassador at college, she just finished as a board member of a non-profit, she is on the Dean's List, and she is awaiting her final internship news....she already had one offer that was amazing, but she is holding out for a dream opportunity. :)

What an amazing journey we have all had the last few years.  Most children, of all ages, have been affected by a virus, a lock down, political unrest and now a war lingers across the ocean. I am so proud of all of our four children.  They do not partake in violence, they are intelligent, they know they have family that loves and supports them and they are independent thinkers, i.e., they are not influenced by others and certainly not by social media. 

I feel social media, is one of the largest contributors to the state of our country and society today. I was ready to make a post on Facebook about the violence in Philadelphia at the Wawa convenience store when it got so long I decided to place it here.  It is just an unloading of my mind, which is coming off a gubernatorial debate from last night. lol You have to watch this video first:

This is sad. Who are the parents of all these kids??? Great parenting. Arrest them all! Identify them if you can. THIS is just ONE example of what is wrong with the way our country is going. What are they trying to prove? Do these kids even vote? Do they even think of their future? Where and how will they live if they destroy everything? Do they think the government will pay for all of their wants and needs??? They are in a downward spiral. Those in office/power are promoting this type of activity and putting our police in danger. Do some research people. We are living in the destruction of our country. Kids are suffering from broken families, no morals, hypocrisy, contamination from social media, lack of education, lack of knowledge of reality and truth! Frustrations are growing as we approach another election....what happened to just going to the voting booth on election day? Greed happened. Warmongers happened. Sometimes it's easier to just be quiet and ignore things, live in a bubble. What if you could have helped somehow? In a peaceful and productive way? I have gone back and forth. We should not be afraid to share truth. If we are friends we should respect each other, like most people did before 2020 happened. Think about the future of your children and grandchildren....what will be left? What did we/you do to help them? Do you believe in our Constitution? Why people want to come to the USA right now is beyond me. It is a mess. More thoughts to come.....

Freedom, Oppression, and Unity

Today is a memorable day for most of our country, the United States of America.  I remember exactly where I was probably because I was on bed rest with my second child.  Sadly, I saw the second tower get hit live and that's all I want to say about that for now. It makes my stomach turn as I write.
I was too young to remember when Kennedy was shot mainly because it happened in 1963 and I was born 6 years later.  I vaguely remember the space shuttle Challenger exploding in 1986 when I was 15, and I do recall giving a speech about it years later in a Dale Carnegie course, but the memory is fading. More recently, in 2004, our most adored president, Ronald Reagan, was injured in an assassination attempt. As I got older these historical events became more relevant. And when I was returning home from a trip to Italy in 1997 sadly, Princess Diana was killed in a tragic auto accident.  That crushed the world it seemed.
So, 17 years ago today we reflect on the horror that was brought upon our country and then we slowly watched our fellow countrymen come together as One.  I believe another name for that is "unity".  First responders from all over our country came together to save, support and eventually rebuild ground zero although we will never forget.
This unity is a true sign, symbol and representation of what our founding fathers believed in for themselves and future generations.  This unity is reflected in our flag, our nation and those who believe in it, support it and defend it.  The evolution of media, including social media, can perhaps be considered the death of America.  It has created monsters, promoted greed and deception for personal gain, it has left the common people of this country without truth and justice at times.
However, not matter where we were born, there is an underlying thread of humanity where love is the foundation, it is our creation and will be our salvation.  The world has seen evil in many forms (the list is too large to begin), but there is something called forgiveness and grace.  It is through these two things that we find peace and can return to our roots.
To disrespect something so great as our flag, country and historical values one should give up one's right to live under the freedom that our country provides, one should give up one's right to vote, and one should surely not be endorsed by a once respected, global business.  To claim you are oppressed in the United States in 2018 is to be weak. It takes a great person to ask for forgiveness and become humble once a mistake has been made such as disrespecting our nation that has offered you protection and freedom.
On a day like today, when many were humbled 17 years ago, we should genuflect, yes, take a knee, to show respect not rebellion.  Often it is used in prayer and honor.  Yes, we have freedom of choice, but we also have a moral compass that should point to our flag and there are other places we can show our beliefs in issues that do not disrespect the umbrella that protects us.
I have always prayed in gratitude for the country I was born in because I see what the rest of the world offers.  There are beautiful places, but there are also places of sadness, pain and fear.  To be born into the latter, allows for little chance of survival or safety.  Unity is what our nation needs, it is what our world needs and it is up to generations to come to heal the wounds of their ancestors.
One day, there will be a rebellion of love.  This is what I pray for.  This is what I hope for.  When I was younger, I recall a phase where I didn't want to bring a child into the world because of the evil in it.  Love overcame me and I was blessed with children....the greatest gift - a symbol of grace.
May we put ego aside, may those with power and influence look deep into their own hearts and find truth and love. I encourage you to listen to what I believe to be one of the most beautiful songs ever made:

Sat Nam,

MJ

Another Birthday Poem by Gracie Borbi

A daughter is such a blessing; not unlike living with an angel. There's a bond like no other and I am so ever grateful for mine. I'm sharing another birthday message she wrote to me this year so I never lose it...

"Through all the years and all the tears you've loved me just the same.
Although I'm a brat and give you sass, you've loved me just the same.
All this time, I don't ask why, you love me just the same.
So now more than ever I vow forever, I'll love you for every day.
For all the victories that we've won and all the battles yet to come, I'll love you for every day.
Like the sun that shines so bright, you'll forever be my light so, I love you every day and I love you just the same."

Melt my heart, this young lady does, and I love her all the same!

Namaste ~ MJ

Serendipity

Usually one begins with a title to a story, but if one does not know where the story is going  the title escapes them. Thus, the title will come at some point, but you need to know how scattered my mind is at this moment that it cannot even focus on the reason for putting pen to paper so-to-speak.
Speaking of pen to paper (maybe I should hyphenate that), today my daughter gave me a letter to mail to her her girlfriend who moved away ( they are 14). With all of the technology today it warms my writers soul that the two of them can correspond this way as I did with my girlfriends at her age.
Writing is nostalgic for me and I even wrote my own two notes today: one to my beloved parents and one to my best friend who is currently living in Sinapore. Sure I see my parents and I use technology to "chat" across the ocean but there is something to be said for snail mail. Choosing a beautiful stamp, writing in cursive and opening the mailbox to find something personal.
I was raised to write thank you notes and I always had an abundance of stationary. The card shops had he best variety at the time and when I was young I also had a collection of stickers to adorn the envelopes. I still write thank you notes and I have cherished momentoes from even my grandparents and their tradition.
I don't normally write my parents unless it's a thank you note but this morning I found a preaddressed envelope to them and since there are some current extenuating circumstances I felt inclined. The day came and went and I had not started my note, but an afternoon phone call and my daughter's letter gave me the incentive I needed to get it out the door!
My parental letter was a simple love letter of sorts and a partial thank you I suppose. I thanked them for my loving family, my memories and the recent beautiful time I have had with them.  After my mother recently experienced a severe stroke and settled into a new recovery routine, my visits have evolved into memories beyond my imagination. Each one is unpredictable and evokes an array of emotions.
My last visit turned into three beautiful hours that I know God blessed us with. It encompassed healing through touch and nostalgia at its finest.  There's something to be said for that feeling of complete and utter peace in the place you grew up in with those you love.
So, as I let my still scattered mind bounce around I come to the conclusion of a title...Serendipity. Just like the origin of the word itself when Walpole wrote his own letter to a friend about an unexpected discovery, I too discovered today that by pleasant surprise that traditions are underlying moments of nostalgia passed on through the years by those we love. I will cherish my letter writing and my invaluable time with my family forever.

Birthday Poem from my Daughter

October 11, 2015

Dear Mom,

You're our hope, our shining light,
Way up high, bright in the night.
You illuminate the sky, bright as day,
So that we come back, one day, you pray.
Your efforts don't go unnoticed, even if we may be unfocused.
We'll try hard, as long as you do,
And that's how we'll all make it through.
We love you to the stars and back, so please don't have a heart attack.
You're loved so much and on this day, it just so happens to be your birthday!
Have a wonderful day. xoxo

Love Gracie and Parker

Genie in the Sandbox

   Reflection.  Something I am doing daily, but with more contemplation.  Leave it to summer yard work to bring it out of me!
   I am on a 60-day challenge through work and part of our weekly tasks are reflections not only of gratitude, but of ourselves. Though I teach many yoga sessions per week I often run short of time to dedicate my practice or meditate.          Everyone and everything is always timed and sometimes I just want to "Be"!  I pray during yoga or in the morning since I know I will often fall asleep before my ethereal conversation comes to a close if I try at night.
  So what occurred today was a memory jogger, a thought provoker and tonic of wilderness, just like Thoreau states. We removed an old play structure in our yard which left a sand pit in the middle of the grass.  I began to remove the excess sand and dirt with a wheelbarrow to arrive at the barrier that separated the earth from the once childlike fortress.  After digging up small sand toys I cam upon a genie with a lamp.  Well, it was a Disney character, but he was holding a lamp nonetheless!  It did not strike me as something my step-sons now 25 and 21 would have played with, but it mattered not.  What mattered is that I found a genie in the sandbox, with a lamp!
  I felt strongly compelled to make three wishes and without much thought, Bam!  My mind was made up and I had already wished!  I briefly recalled a commercial where a man wished for one hundred thousand bucks and he received just that, one hundred four-legged bucks! I didn't want to be selfish so I immediately made my first wish for a family member, and then one for myself (professionally) and then one for a friend with cancer.  I felt rushed.  It was not unlike I had to quickly decide or I would lose the chance.
 Interesting where ones mind will go in a spontaneous moment.  A moment in extreme heat even when shaded.  I reflected back to when we added more sand to the box and the cost of what I was now dumping in the woods.  I noticed the different texture of the soft, smooth sand verses the dirt and pine needles on top. The years of playing that will soon be covered with seeded lawn and only memories remain. Nostalgia at it's finest, indeed!
  As I moved the sand away in the wheelbarrow my mind went back to my childhood.  My father would run around the backyard with me inside the wheelbarrow; he was strong and still is at two months shy of seventy. I even used to hang on his bicep with two hands, too! It's things like that we forget about as we move through our busy lives and focus on our own lives and family.  What a pleasant memory! Love you Dad!
  Now that I reflect on the activity that stirred my mind, I know I don't need to make any wishes on a genie's lamp.  Maybe it was finding the lamp that warmed my heart and brought my moment of reflection to a moment of gratitude.  The tonic of wilderness is just that, a tonic.  The air, the sun, the commune with nature.  With my devoted canine at my side and feathered friends feeding delightfully on the seed I shared the labor and sweat were downplayed.

Mom says this is a female woodpecker.

I promised my grandmother I would never stop writing and I took a long break from it other than brief journal entries.  I will find my way back and perhaps the tonic of the wilderness is just what I needed!

After note...just saw a small buck in our yard! Ha!

Namaste ~ MJ